Anyone watch Duck Dynasty? A recent episode sparked a debate amongst the librarian's aides about who could eat the most glazed donuts. If you haven't seen it the result is that skinny, old Si out eats all the young guys with over two dozen donuts.
See where this is going yet? One of the technology aides, a senior, was bragging that he could eat more donuts than anyone else. I didn't disagree and honestly didn't care who could eat more donuts. Frankly, in March when the conversation came up I just laughed and went on about my business. What I didn't realize at the time was the relationship I was building with this young man. I work in a HS that is completely Title 1 in a black and Hispanic neighborhood. This young man will overcome the loss of his mother, the inattention of a grieving father, and the hardships that come from growing up in an economically depressed area.
Finally, at the end of the year the Librarian tells me she is buying five dozen donuts and the contest is on. I tried to back out at first. I really, really don't need to be stuffing my face with donuts. She pointed out that all year he has been working hard for me, working hard to graduate at the top of his class, and has been accepted at a division 1 college for next year. He has connected with you as a teacher and will remember you for the rest of his life.
Lets think about that statement. How many professions do you know that you will make such an impact, positive or negative, on a person that they will remember you for their entire lives? I may not remember them but they will remember me. Yikes, that is some pressure to live up to.
If we take it one step further we can look at research that clearly points to a correlation between parents who had a positive school experience and their children's success when they begin school. If a parent has a negative school experience they tend to pass that attitude on to their own child. The result is that one teacher being an asshole and saying I don't care can impact the current student and their children as well.
Did my participation in a donut eating contest really affect this student enough that I could ruin his kids as well? No, of course not, but he has worked hard. He doesn't need certificates, pats on the back or cheap graduation crap that he will pitch after his first year of college. The relationship we had built needed to be reinforced. He needed to know that I didn't use him for cheap child labor. He will cherish the experience of a Tuesday morning at school eating warm, gooey glazed donuts against a teacher who showed him respect. This was the time to show him that after graduation he will not be forgotten. If he chooses as an adult, he can contact me and become a friend.
Eating donuts against him may sound stupid but it brought the young man the experience of having some fun, with a couple adults in a childish way. We are human, he is too. He will make mistakes, I make mistakes, and in the end he may say to his son or daughter that Mr. Hicks, Ms. Lorens, or some other teacher taught him that education is important. That teachers have bad and good days. He may take a second to remember that it is the relationships we build that dictate our success. Eating donuts, reading comics, or discussing the rodeo line up for the year may just impact a future generation of students.
What? You think this old man was gonna let some uppity kid win?