This often led to me behaving or acting in a certain way that may have been a little odd or as a know it all. I was compensating for what I didn't know and the anxiety over not being what others may have wanted me to be. That all changed pretty rapidly after a little play in the Spring of 1990.
Grandma Hicks introduced me to the Peanuts when I was very young. She would read the Peanuts, Family Circle, and Andy Capp to me as a child. I always wished for a dog like Snoopy and identified with Charlie Brown. Clumsy, unconfident, and often plodding were adjectives I would use to describe the way I felt. I tried to do what Captain America would do but often found myself in trouble, flat on my back, or completely wrong about ideas that I had formed with little to no information.
In the Spring of 1990 I was coming off of a semi-successful role in Harvey as Dr. Sanderson. The role was a supporting part with a few pages of dialogue. Most notably the character had a long speech which, try as I might to memorize it, I could never quite get the whole thing down. We ended up taping the text to the table I was seated at for a confidence booster. That Spring we decided to try a new type of musical and I knew I was the best man for the lead.
Your A Good Man, Charlie Brown was to be my first and only lead role in the three years I was on the stage at North Vermillion HS and was it a doozy. Lines, songs, and more as I played the one character I felt born to be. To this day I can't tell you how comfortable it felt to be Charlie Brown. I identified with him so much that, as I took on the role and we took the show on the road to performing at elementary schools, the anxiety went away. I remembered most of my words although Becky Sheridan (Wagner) and Julie VanSant (Dove) would probably disagree about the total number I recalled.
Just like Charlie Brown I had felt disinclined to play sports because I couldn't kick the football. I would almost hyperventilate even thinking about asking a girl out and I would mangle my words when someone of authority would ask me a question. The group that got together to put on Charlie Brown became a strong group of actors who put on top performances together. All of them are successful today and are raising families in the best North Vermillion tradition.
I took Madison to see the new Peanuts movie yesterday. She exhibits many of the personality traits and quirks that I do. She can be confident in front of a camera and squeamish with strangers. She can trip over a feather and then say the most intelligent things. She had watched a few of the old Charlie Brown Holiday specials with me but hasn't gotten into the "dailies" as the newspaper comics are called. She went to her first movie in a theater and was completely absorbed by the antics of the Peanuts gang.
What a great movie, the message was perfect for a seven year old girl to hear. She saw Chuck get knocked down, be scared, and behave in service to others. The message was perfect for children today who are often bullied or enabled to be rude. Since this was her first trip to a movie theater since she was three (Lets just say I wasn't paying attention at a Disney 4D movie. Smooth move Daddy.) I was thrilled to see that she was willing to sit still and quietly watch the whole movie.
Charlie Brown was a turning point in my confidence and growth as a young adult. I hope that Madison will always remember this movie as something she did with her Daddy. That I took her to see a movie with a message of hope and understanding.
I wonder how she would feel about the new Star Wars. I may be reaching on that one.